There is a couple’s therapy called Imago (Latin for ‘image’) which asserts that we are drawn to partners who remind us of our primary childhood caregivers. The unconscious images we form of our ideal mates is a composite of both the positive and negative traits of our early influences, and we unconsciously attempt to resolve past childhood wounds through our adult romantic relationships with partners that fit those projections. It is as if we go out into the world as adults holding out picture frames and are forever looking for the person that fits within it. It should come as no surprise then, that our partners very often come with an instruction manual on where our buttons are, and how to push them. Oh, you’re a person that continually looks for clouds on a sunny day? Well, here is a partner that knows how to make rain! This lighthearted version of this idea come to me during a recent “disagreement” with my wife, and realizing how we each still carry some past trauma into our current dynamic. The good news is these partners are also the ideal ones with whom we can heal and grow beyond those limitations.